BEING A MUM AND LETTING GO

Being a mum is clearly one of the most incredible experiences we can have.

But it can also be easily the most challenging and isolating time in your life.

Because of the way we all live now, broken up from our old communities, 2 parents working, life in the fast lane, relationships breaking up, single parents and no time for eating well, exercising and looking after yourself, this miraculous time may not seem so.

As one of my friends who is a young mum said to me recently, it's your get into jail free card :)

You will never regret it but some days you may wonder how easy life could be it you had chosen another path, then you look at them in bed, and your heart melts with the most incredible love.

Basically having kids will give you every emotional experience you have ever dreamt and not dreamt of.
Both ends of the spectrum, high and low will be felt.

Of course everyone has a different experience but lets make no mistake having a child is not a 1 person job.
Back in the day children were born into communities and raised there by the collective.
All the women stayed at home, hung out, baked, made things and supported each other while keeping the home fires burning.
Now its an totally different story.
Now often they are being brought up primarily by one person.
Now we have had drastic changes from isolation in how we live, maybe not even knowing your neighbours, to super busy and often stressed lifestyles that kids do not fit into easily.

Having a child takes up a load of your time......and energy, and if you become tired, then you can get crabbit. (Scottish word for bad tempered) And when that happens you may take your temper out on others around you. This is when things can become strained.
Back in the day if you were a mum then you only had that responsibility, nowadays you probably have many more. Too many. This is when stress can start and may overwhelm you.

So what to do if having a child is not the romantic Walt Disney experience you had thought?

When you are up early every single day and you need to do the same things over and over to survive and keep your head above water it can become tiring and tedious.

When you have a child you end up with way more relationships. 1 has just turned into 3. Yours with you partner, your child and your partner and child.
Then you have your parents and you inlaws. Plus everyone who has had a child or not will have a story or advice for you, this can be helpful or incredible irritating.

The solution is the same as in everything we need to change how we are in the World.
When we get tired, overwhelmed, downtrodden, we think differently.

When we have negative feelings and fatigue we think negatively. When we are exhausted this can happen too. So we do what we always need to do, let go of all negative feelings and fatigue so that we can think nice, happy, loving, helpful thoughts.

The obvious things like taking care of ourselves via diet and exercise along with the not so obvious things like letting go of all stress, fear, conrol, security, approval and feeling of competition around this experience.

Focus on the amazing stuff and let go of all the stressful stuff. You can change how you feel about anything the only thing you need to have is desire.

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